Day 277: Ten Months

This is an apparently little-known fact: the time that a woman is pregnant is closer to ten months than nine. When I make reference to this in casual conversation, I get looked at like I'm crazy. But now I must wonder what was happening TEN months before January. I was born last week, I know at least five other people with my birthday; I spent tonight at a birthday party and I also know other people with this birthday; And tomorrow....well, tomorrow is Ms. Claire's birthday. Ten months ago was March. This seems pretty uneventful...I guess it's Spring, but huh. The birthday girl at dinner tonight, a Danielle, got a phone call from her mother who was all teary because Danielle had been born. This did not happen to me. Apparently whatever happened with my parents twenty-five years, ten months and one week ago, the magic is gone now.

Speaking of babies, Regis and Kelly are currently running a fourth annual Beautiful Baby contest. This makes me uncomfortable for some reason that I cannot identify. The pics they show are of very very cute babies; but it seems somewhat like baby prostitution to send in pics of your dressed up adorable child to the loud Regis and self-consciously charming Kelly. I do not know why I feel this way, but I bet if Danielle's mother could send in a picture she would. I also do not understand the infamous Regis; he is grandfatherly, loud and in a lot of make-up. What a weird country this is.

I also woke up early the last few mornings, and so have been educating myself about daytime talk shows. I say "educating" but I actually just watched about ten minutes of them. However, in those ten minutes, Ellen, who is really really good at the whole talkshow thing, made a random phone call to a fan named Gladys or something. During the interview, Gladys interrupted Ellen with the explanation that "You know, Ellen, I love Jesus, but I do drink a little. Just to thin the blood."

Claire, I feel this is an appropriate toast for you on your birthday tomorrow. Too bad we do not have a friend named Ellen.

So here's an East-Coast but not yet West Coast birthday shout out to Claire!!! 25 it is!!!!! This is the year, Claire. What year exactly, I do not know, but it is that year. This is a picture of Claire being strong and impressive skydiving in South Africa last year. I feel this is a good way to represent the fact that we are old, but have still done lots and lots of cool things.